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#youcantmakethisshitup

Posts tagged as #youcantmakethisshitup on Instagram

12.603 Posts

Ok so I HATE showing my face without makeup and I’ve been having breakouts lately, but I decided to take a new picture. 😱 I noticed a HUGE difference in my skin! I still have breakouts due to the hormones, but WHAT?! 😭 I love how I look! I look happier! My skin looks alive! I was always skeptical about this stuff and now I am okay not wearing makeup ❀️ Just look at that glow! πŸ’πŸ»‍♀️ thank you keto and collagen! Confidence booster for sure! πŸ˜† - - - #beforeandafter #facetoface #1month #collagen #clearskin #skincare #skincareroutine #skincaretips #keto #ketodiet #ketotransformation #ketoadapted #betterskin #betterlife #glowup #glowingskin #glowingskincare #youcantmakethisshitup #happy #motivation #motivational #inspiration #inspirational #confidence #confident #confidentwomen
Valerie and I again almost two hours (leaving the jet bridge) after a 6:30 hour flight that landed well in London. One thing is certain ... humans are craZy 😜... next time around I want to come back as a caterpillar πŸ› in this world .... #youcantmakethisshitup .... BUT #weloveourjob #ilovemyjob #flightattendantlife #flightattendant #comissariodevoo #plane #lyndas #avião #cansadas #drama #oi #tired #longnight ....
I was a newborn. In just a few weeks my aunt Renee would-meet my dad in a bar. It was nice that they finally got to meet! πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
after 6:30 hours of flying ... 2 issues developed at the same time .... the MOST dramatic flight of my life .... sorry but I can’t tell what happened .... #youcantmakethisshitup #nobodycouldmakethisshitup .... not even Hollywood .... #omg 🀦‍β™€οΈπŸ€¦‍β™€οΈπŸ€¦‍β™€οΈπŸ€¦‍β™€οΈπŸ€¦‍β™€οΈπŸ€¦‍β™€οΈπŸ€¦‍♀️ #work #flightattendantlife #flightattendant #comissariodevoo #plane #issues #ijustcant
The girls and their babies! Pepper has Foxy Loxy and Libby has Neville Percival Kroft (John named it...apparently he's of German and English descent....), the Grand Hedgehog.  #ladylibertybellpepper #youcantmakethisshitup #smh #foxyloxy #hedgehog #theyneedabath  #mygirls #ilovethem #babies #goldendoodlesofinstagram
Wow ..I would be traumatized behind this... this is crazy ... I just keep saying oh my God... #youcantmakethisshitup #cemetery #grave  #thisistraumatizing #thisiscrazy #thatscrazy
Date night with my best gay friend !!! We have an announcement!! stay tuned!!! On the next episode#youcantmakethisshitup #shitsngiggles #bothgivenuponmen
Soy un hombre enamorao lol πŸ˜‚ did he just beg Lissette not to leave him n go drink begging plz don’t go drink me va pegar lo cuerno lmaoo #latínworldstar #youcantmakethisshitup but let it be a girl beggin lol she wouldn’t even finish the sentence he would’ve been out.
Derek looking for an actual switch: "How do you switch it to English?" The rest of us: "There is no switch" πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ˜… πŸ˜‚ 🀣 πŸ˜… #noenglishswitch #spanish #espanol #spain #spained #spainπŸ‡ͺπŸ‡Έ #spaintravel #madrid #kids #kidsareawesome #hilarious #funny #socal #calikid #cali #lovehim #familyfun #youcantmakethisup #youcantmakethisshitup  #πŸ˜‚ #🀣 #πŸ˜†
"When that dries please show me how you plan to erase with that glued to your crayon box." #youcantmakethisshitup #kindergartenteacher #ireallysaidthat #crickets #happyfriday
#repost @barbelle_bombshell with @get_repost ・・・ Reminiscing the days in paradise with the perfect company. πŸ–€ @mark.rodriguez.jr  #canwegoback #thisgirlneedswarmth #adventuresofmarkanddanielle #wearemad #youcantmakethisshitup #youcanthandleourkindofcrazy #theextracouple
Reminiscing the days in paradise with the perfect company. πŸ–€ @mark.rodriguez.jr  #canwegoback #thisgirlneedswarmth #adventuresofmarkanddanielle #wearemad #youcantmakethisshitup #youcanthandleourkindofcrazy #theextracouple
Said the priest to the choirboy. I love Newport. #youcantmakethisshitup #newportky #funnychurchsigns
This is why I do genealogy...you can’t make this up. #pimpchasromano #geneology #akwardchristmasgatherings #youcantmakethisshitup
I shredded the bomb cyclone #hahahaha #youcantmakethisshitup #vail #snowboarding #fun #bomcyclone #duckinropes
Rich people be doing the most!🀣Back in my day...all I had was a letter of recommendation from the Pastor and a Perfect Attendance Award. Probably why I went to Kentucky...🀦🏾‍β™‚οΈπŸ˜‚And I loved every moment of it! Now I’m ready for the Aaron Sorkin movie starring Frances McDormand as Felicity Huffman. #operationvarsityblues #varsityblues #francesmcdormand #funny #comedian #actor #comedy #youcantmakethisshitup #laugh #gocats #kentucky #runforrest #yourmamasuredoescareaboutyourschoolingson
πŸΈπŸ΅πŸ’πŸΌ‍β™€οΈπŸ€£ #mercuryretrograde #thefallofinstagram2019 #neverforgotten #astrologer #youcantmakethisshitup
“The Abundance of Sedna”  This mandala was originally from 2006 as a black and white. Falling into the category of “you can’t make this shit up” - happened to pick it up and make this colored version set with the Strait of Juan de Fuca behind it. Sedna brings us some intense themes of survival and abundance. Note: running the charts for the creation of the original mandala with the rework we have two Mars Sedna conjunctions in Taurus in synastry. Hence, the myth of Sedna led to the connection that this mandala represents the abundance of Sedna blessing the fishers of sea.  Thank you @marinadarkstar for the article on Sedna.  #sedna #mythicastrology #youcantmakethisshitup #seagoddess #fishmandala #abundance  Coming as a future #zodiacsticker in time for #norwac2019
It’s tough to say if it was the elusive bench press PR itself, or simply the fact that his shirt blew apart in the process... but Rory claims he’s never seen Jesse in such a good mood πŸ˜‚ #youcantmakethisshitup
Really? #mumofteenagegirl?! I thought she was going into the kitchen to do the dishes?! Apparently laying on the floor with a cat on your tummy is way more comfortable?! πŸ€£πŸ˜‚πŸ€£ #lovemysillykids #youcantmakethisshitup #firesidemoments πŸ‘πŸ’— Well played kid?! Well played?!
A post from @mymoistmemes @ all incels and my following comment that upset some kid with internalyzed misogyny #byefelicia #byefelipe #toobadsosad #misogyny #youcantmakethisshitup #'theteaishot #toxicmasculinity  #niceguy
Why would you have this as your first picture on #tinder??!! He have other pictures but I mean #wtf Vote in my stories on these too! #tinderfail #tinder #tinderprofile #tinderprofiles #youcantmakethisshitup #onlinedating #datingandhating #existingjustsucks
RANT - Good people of Instagram, may I address this fuckery with you? Can we all agree to call food what it is and acknowledge RAW VEGETABLE STICKS ARE NOT CHIPS! Saying they are is not completely ridiculous and inaccurate, but saying or thinking the word "chips" will be having you obsessing over, what? REAL CHIPS. Crispy, salty, crunchy, fatty, deliciously-flavoured and SATISIFYING chips. Why would any reasonable person raise all this imagery in their mind, right before chowing down some vegetables? THEY WOULDN'T. I don't care how much you think you love vegetables! The vast majority of us eat them for the nutrition, and if in an alternative universe vegetables lost all health benefits, we sure as shit wouldn't regularly eat them in mass quantities for the taste alone. All food serves a purpose. This bullshit is setting you up for a fail - you'll crave the chips, be disappointed in the vegetables, and be way more likely to go binge on what you actually wanted in the first place (or overeat unsatisfying food trying to fill the vood, before ultimately still reaching for the other food, and feeling sick). Eat your damn vegetables if your need them (personally, I'm always down for carrot sticks), or eat the damn chips for the exact same reason - only you know what your body/mind/soul needs and what you should eat accordingly. Call your food what it is - nothing more, nothing less - and call out the bullshit when you see it!  This shit encourages disordered eating and it needs to stop @sweat.love.and.macros
OMG!! I hate the heat!! why do i live in Australia!!!? #australia #waytohot #definetlyhot #youcantmakethisshitup
Hey! Ho! How dare you call my husband, @clarkholmes, a ho!  #funnystuff #youcantmakethisshitup #everydaystuff
You can’t make this up!!! @burgerking @mcdonalds we stopped at both of these National Fastfood Chains, no service after waiting for 3-5 minutes in either one! 🀷‍♀️ #whogoesoutofbusinessfirst @arbys was smiling when we stopped in! #winnerwinner #youcantmakethisshitup
#youcantmakethisshitup #cardinalhaw THEY BORED #amplified STUDIES, the master KEY TO UNLOCK #pandorasbox, and ALL she wanted was a #pandora chain, blah blah, relax ijs
We back for the TRASH AGAIN, #youcantmakethisshitup I CAN BE MEAN, I heard it is when you duck with me after I told repeatedly not to, Prayer works
Saw this guy on the street today, on his way to the Thunderdome to fight Mad Max and oblivious to the fact that the film shoot for the campy 1980's post-apocalyptic thriller was canceled due to sunshine. 4 pm on a Sunday. #springisintheair #youcantmakethisshitup #themshoestho #madeyoulook
Ok I said i wasn’t gon post #rkelly no more but I’m down on bended knee weak πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ #youcantmakethisshitup
Believe half of what you see and nothing that they telling you. #issavibe #goodvibesonly #youcantmakethisshitup #learnlife #itslevelstodisshit #ushittinme #datpart #realniggashit #realniggasrelate #snapplefacts
Eeny, meeny, miny, wtf? This week's top online dating profiles. #dating #onlinedating #moderndating #datingsucks #singlelife #bumble #tinder #okcupid #lavalife #plentyoffish #datingfails #truestories #love #datingdisasters #datingvlog #vlogger #youcantmakethisshitup #datingadvice  #lookingforloveinallthewrongplaces
When map not telling the truth 🧩 you can’t make this up➑️ 🐾 . . . purely unbiased red πŸ’Špill media . . . . . #niggalations#freeexcellence#lmao#lol#dankmemes#nasalies#meme#art#boiifyoudont#marijuana#jetfuelcantmeltsteelbeams#memepage#oof#funny#hitsblunt#theseaintjokes#lmfao#cannabis#lol#comedy#travel#edgymemes#youcantmakethisshitup#photography#fails#globelie#wtf#melly#mood#ctfu#rap
That's not Photoshop, it's just perfect #angles #proofinnextpic #youcantmakethisshitup #epic #leprechaun #nipples @zeroamiable
Manzanita Twin Peaks™οΈ Experience #212 — I got home from work one day and was backing my big rig in, like I always do, when all of a sudden I see @i_am_the_real_gageprice pushing a golf cart up the back drive out of the woods. πŸ€” I’ve seen weirder things out here, but this was pretty curious. I asked, “Is that your Grandpa?” “Nope,” says Gage shaking his head. “Do you know him?”, I said. “Nope.” The man had driven all the way up our farm drive and down the back drive, into the woods and got stuck in the mud. He never said a word but once Gage pushed him up to the crest of the drive, he proceeded to go on about his day, looking for something we didn’t quite get a sense for. Today, I spotted the golf cart mystic again, for the first time and had to document for my records. #youcantmakethisshitup #oregon #coast
#wtf #youcantmakethisshitup #maga
Reporter: “Did you steal the car?” Suspect: “Oh, I don’t know. Demons told me to do it.” Y’all are always reporting Florida Man, ladies and gentleman, meet Florida Woman. ➑️ #onlyinduval #demonstoldmetodoit #didthedemonstellyoutowearthatdress #demonstoldmeicouldhaveextrasnackstoday #truestoryonmypart #demonsgotmelike #whattypeofcar #arollsroyceghost?? #probably #ghostsarespooky #soaredemons #youcantmakethisshitup #igersjax #floridawoman #duuuval #dtwd #news4jax πŸ˜ˆπŸ‘»πŸ˜ˆπŸ‘»πŸ˜ˆπŸ‘» OnlyinDuval.com
I may get banned but it was worth it.  #old #ass #cruisesniper #read #work #travel #youcantmakethisshitup
Yes tonight we had a bird 🐦 in the house. Don’t worry, Brad the #birdwrangler is on the caseπŸ˜‚ Check out my stories for the full caper #youcantmakethisshitup
#tbt to the Anoka Hennepin Alumni Race a couple weeks ago. . . 🎿Last time I skied: 2011 β›·Last time I raced: 2008 πŸ†And I still walked away with some hardware 😏 . . ⏩Couple Fun Facts you may have missed in the photos: . . ✨That is the same ski jacket I have had since the 6th grade. ✨My helmet is literally taped together. . ✨The case for my goggles was attacked by ravenous mice...fortunately the goggles survived. . . Just another day in the life πŸ˜‚πŸ‘ . . #youcantmakethisshitup #laughingalltheway #yardsale #throwbackoutfit #shitshow #normalday #youcanttakemeanywhere #livingmybestlife #skiing #slalom #giantslalom #racing #alumni #β›· #🎿 #πŸ†
Putin out here stealing  #superbowl rings?  #youcantmakethisshitup and other #funny sports facts with @dubbygoodell #thestandard episode 6 on #youtube #sports #sportstalk #patriotsnation
I’m pretty sure the 5 second rule doesn’t apply here. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ€¦πŸ»‍β™€οΈπŸ€¦πŸ»‍♀️ #thestruggleisreal #youcantmakethisup #youcantmakethisshitup #youcantmakethisstuffup
Better write this date down.... I DIDN'T HATE SWIMMING!! . No creepers, no floating band-aid, hairballs, or people scrubbing their manky feet in the pool... #youcantmakethisshitup. Just 20 minutes of watching freaking paint dry. 😩. But it is exactly what my body needed. So I am not going to bitch about boring it was. Next time, I will though πŸ’‍♀️, but today we are grateful that someone didn't take pictures of me and brushed my leg at each pass. 😐  #restday #mightrunlater #swimming #wishiwasrunning #runningrecovery #run #alwaysrunning #igrunners #runwild #runfree #ultratraining #crosstraining
My #newmoon card spread.  Love the language of life.  The messages keep repeating until we are aware. Until we SEE them. Until they make sense.  Seeing, understanding and fully aware of the place the moon and earth hold  in my life right now.  Seriously had to look twice at my 1st and 4th card.  So perfect, how beautifully this spread mimics my earlier post.  Validates my path, my message, my oneness.  If you didn't see my earlier post, check it out.  This sh*t is just too good.  We really can't make it up ❀❀❀ . . . . #michelesnelling #cardspread #oracle #newmooncardspread #psychic #alchemy #synchronicity #thisshitiscool #youcantmakethisshitup #themaporaclecards #goddesspoweroracle #gaia #moonlight
Money can definitely make miracles happen. Wow what a transformation. πŸ’•πŸ’• #kuwtk #money #transformation #miracles #youcantmakethisshitup
A drag queen awaits her performance under a highway at Birmingham Pride, Alabama #gay #reality #pride #gaypride #comedy #showbiz #youcantmakethisshitup
Every few months my 13 yr old and I take a PEEK at Fox news to know what's being viewed State side...but today we were on the floor laughing when we tuned in...to "shocking development" and a "He" alien to boot..πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ€­πŸ€­ you just can't make this shit up..or actually you can..🀣🀣 . . #fuckingfunny #foxnews #et #laughingmyassoff #unbelievable #youcantmakethisshitup  #seriously #alien #shocking #iq #intelligence #onthefloor #rolling
Adventures in marketing, @krogerco edition. Maimed #easterbunnies and Butter It’s Not. #youcantmakethisshitup
🐈🐈🐈 They find the most creative ways to tell mommy they love her. πŸ˜‚β€οΈπŸˆπŸˆπŸˆ#perfectheart #shouldikeepit #youcantmakethisshitup
So this just happened... As he was typing I got in the last line and BLOCKED
HBD @hoosiernyc! Another year of random adventures in the books. As my bestie, you really do take the (birthday) cake πŸŽ‚!! There’s no one I’d rather do London on one leg with #48hourbrunch  #youcantmakethisshitup #timtomtwoandthree
It was one of those series of events which you couldn’t plan out but which makes me remember how supported I am, how there is such a bigger picture than what I can hold ... βž• On Saturday Aud had theatre classes at a different place to usual ... I was feeling sick so rather than going out for coffee, I looked for the nearest place to sit and wait for her ... which was Forestville Library ... I found myself in an aisle of the most random and magnificent books which felt like they had been hand-picked just for me ✨ βž• First I read a book on #wabisabi which is a Japanese concept I know very little about other than the name is πŸ’–πŸ’– ... as I read about this ancient way of viewing the world, I was 🀯 and #ofcourse at the synchronicity it how it clicked in next to pieces of #zimzumselfcare πŸ’– βž• And then I have been grappling with what it takes to stand up and act courageously - to speak out when it is not popular or easy but right, especially after @mitlesouthey ‘s #sisterwounds Circle last week and I found this book #thecouragetobedisliked - which is a conversation between a student and teacher about the idea that the world is simple and everyone can be happy #followcuriosity ✨ βž• And then the most holdable book “On Quiet” by #nikkigemmell whose words and wisdom are soul sustenance πŸ™ŒπŸ™Œ - it is tucked in my handbag to dip into at every chance ... and has also inspired the size of the book that I am writing #handbagsizedbooks πŸ‘œ βž• I am also slowly becoming fascinated by the witch hunts ... that these occurred over hundreds of years and were a deliberate disempowering of women and that we - I - hold these wounds deep in our psyches ... that the fear of speaking, the fear of “being weird”, the fear of other women can stem from these hurts of lifetimes ago. βž• And then as I was leaving I checked if there were any babysitters club books for Nina - no. My eyes glanced from the M’s to the L’s, I thought of Lois Lowry in an instant, and
Me, actually this morning. #youcantmakethisshitup #justmylife #aseriesofunfortunateevents
The kids wanted to know their options for dinner tonight.  I told them they could have Lamb Curry or Vegetable risotto.  Radiah looked at me with a disgusted look on her face and said “um I’m a vegetarian so can I just have chicken tenders” #igiveup #preteenbrilliance #youcantmakethisshitup
Oh, damn 🀦🏻‍β™€οΈπŸ€¦πŸ»‍β™€οΈπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ #funnymemes #youcantmakethisshitup #hilarious #kuwtk #damn
Wah happened? If this isn't a Monday photo, I dunno what is. Right after this happened, my dog grabbed the broken off half of the fasel, and ate it. #youcantmakethisshitup #fml #faselmod #whetheriwanttoornot #cklab #brokenstuff #modfail
We all have a story and I so respect that. But..... My story is very different and very hard to believe even to me and it's happening to me! So often what it looks like to you is simply not reality. To those who love me enough to love me no matter what or love me enough to ask rather than assume and pass judgement are those I am so grateful for! I am working on myself to respond with compassion in my heart when people so cruelly accuse and judge me because, as I said, I would not believe my story either..... #youcantmakethisshitup
“Not my circus, not my monkey” #illbeinthehappyandcontentsection #youcantmakethisshitup #blockingnumbers #keepingmysanity
And the entertainment continues... #onlinedating #youcantmakethisshitup #wtf #pof #dating #plentyoffish #lol #icant #thestruggleisreal
Y’all, let me tell you how awful we’d be on an adult Easter egg hunt 🀦🏻‍♀️ literally hiding in plain sight! ^ 6 eggs ^ & no idea how long they’ve been there BUT props to the gals for not breaking any. . #egghunt #hidinginplainsight #buttnuggets #arkansas #growyourown #backyardchickens #10acres #youcantmakethisshitup #mypetchicken #eggsfordays #farmlife
it’s been 7 years.  all i can think about was how you constantly gave me shit for anything i did or said. like roll your eyes at me, level. i always struggled with why you didn’t really like me.  i know now, after a ton of self reflection & work, it was because you kept people at a distance, but that your way of showing you loved & cared for people.  i remember the last conversation with you discussing your accomplishments & how proud you were of the work. you were so jovial.  i also understand now that our souls probably saw in one another a lot of the same struggles. i promise to keep working on them.  so this will always be a treasured photo. yeah those other two dudes are alright. just one of those rare moments in time caught on film.  i miss your bald head & thanks for talking with me when i go for a run & reminding me it will be okay. miss you.  #pontes πŸ₯°πŸ–€ xo
Jesus Fucking CHRIST - DO NOT EXFOLIATE YOUR VAGINA! I repeat - DO NOT EXFOLIATE YOUR VAGINA πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜΅πŸ˜΅πŸ˜΅ If common sense is not enough of a convincing argument, please see here for an extensive list of itemised scientific reasons  https://www.iflscience.com/health-and-medicine/the-latest-vaginal-product-makes-goops-jade-eggs-seem-sane/ -

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