, how am i ever to love someone else when i take so much from them. the affirmation i crave. it's greater than the love. i must love myself before i can love someone else. before i can love them for reasons other than loving me. #poetry#prose#words#rambles
, you'll leave me like the rest of them. you've already left. your present self is at my side, this i know, but your mind is drifting. your eyes waver. you no longer smell like home. #poetry#prose#thoughts#rambles
, you broke me. not in the way most people break. in that sense, you hardly even bent me. you did not leave me with any visible scars, you did not tear me down intentionally. all that you did was let the way you call my name fade from bright and intentional to the same old way you may call a waitress to our table. you may not have even noticed the way your face no longer shifted hues when we touched. you may not have even noticed, but i did. #poetry#rambles#thoughts
Day 4 of pumping. All of the nurses at the hospital are so intrigued by my #inducedlactation journey. I have gotten SO much support by them too! They gave me these little bottles, labels and parts to use the hospital grade pump (although I like my @spectrababyusa more). Pumping every 2 hours isn’t easy and honestly there are times i question if I should keep going. I will. I hope it gets easier though?? PS thanks to everyone who reached out to see how Jess and the baby are doing. So far they are both stable!! The goal is for Jess to remain pregnant until 34 weeks 🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻 I haven’t prayed this hard in a long time. Faith is a funny thing sometimes. ♥️ #rambles#30weekspregnant#growbabygrow
Casual #bookporn acts as perfect pretext to talk about The Christmas Book Wishlist—of course it’s a thing, and of course I’m that peculiar kind of monster 🦖 who hates being gifted books which I haven’t researched or paper-palpated creepily in the dark corner of a bookstore beforehand, which means my family doesn’t dare try blindly anymore. Anyway, I’m going for Victorian and Classical Lit galore with a dash of modernist women-written theory-poetry, my own darling narrow jam in a nutshell. & by the way, do write me if you need gift recs for dusty book-lovers : I live for that kind of stuff. There literally isn’t one day that goes by without me chirping “I’m a LIBRARIAN” while flailing my arms like Evie Carnahan [see The Mummy, 1999, a masterpiece]. Also, this caption is officially chaos. I should shut up.
Excuse the basic Snapchat filtered selfie, but I just wanted to document my current thoughts. Over the past few days I have been pushing myself mentally. Not in a negative way, and although the changes are positive it has been quite tiring. Some ways I have been pushing my mental boundaries include: - trying to use logical thinking instead of emotional thinking - limiting negative self talk - increasing positive self-motivation and discipline In only a few short days I am already able to see some positive effects. I have been pushing myself harder at the gym and getting some killer workouts in. I have been forcing myself to sit down and use my academic resources to learn rather than just complete the assignments. I have been reminding myself not to fall back into relationships that drain my energy instead of increasing it. I have been reminding myself to have just as much confidence in myself without filters as I do with filters. As I mentioned before- it is tiring. Pushing my thoughts in those directions takes a lot of effort. I just wanted to write a reminder to myself that I can continue to make these choices. And that if I do so, I will become a much better and stronger version of myself. • • • #thoughts#rambles#change#mindset#strength#positivity#motivation#discipline#mentalhealth#mentalstrength#forabetterme#wellnessiskey#selfie#snapchat