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Posts tagged as #mywisdomlessons on Instagram

222 Posts

I felt defenseless against my own fear brain.  I felt mad that the way I wanted things to work out after some big hard earned events, was not the way things turned out.  I felt grief.  I felt angry at myself for putting me in a place where I felt vulnerable.  I felt angry that after all.j the work I've done, hard long work in therapy and on my own, suddenly it would seem that I had done nothing.  I felt like I needed to shake things up.  So yesterday I publically admitted to some not so good mental stuff, not all.  I want to say yes and lay back and allow all the helping hands to support to hold me up. I feel joyful that I have a community and mad that I can't see me the way you see me.  I feel a bit overwhelmed and burdened by all the offers of support.  I feel the need to clarify, to say I'm good now, I'm on my way to my professional peoples to figure this out. I just need a boost over the edge. It was a spell not an attack.  But in the end, it is how I feel that I paid attention to and brought me to make a next step decision. It's a two steps forward, one step back kinda life.  I had some pretty bad post partum with Eamon 13 years ago and not so bad with Fiona. But it's their mental health that I want to add and model my positive self-esteem to. So I keep on keepin' on. .  #navigatingthroughnovember #taleswithfriends #anxietydoesntgettodrive #beherenow #fionamariepeach #eamonspancerpeach #mywisdomlessons #soul_selfie
Struggling this week. Wanted to cry many times. The more I tried to tell myself it was OK, the more I heard the opposite. Shame and worthlessness. Why am I here again? I have done so so much work! .  Could be slightly hormonal but other symptoms (lip biting and stomach aches) are asking me to perhaps concede that I may need to get a little more help beyond therapy. I will be seeing my doctor this week for anxiety meds.  Because, although I have come so very far, and so could have used the help a long time ago, I can only speak to my now. I feel stalled. Maybe I'm addicted to anxiety itself. .  Motion for #navigatingthroughnovember.  Taking down my Halloween decorations today. Doing whatever makes me feel better until I do. #mentalhealthmatters #anxiety #soul_selfie #mywisdomlessons #selfdevelopment #beherenow #alifeofintention
Our ban on flour and sugar went on hold this morning as I just needed a biscuit and gravy fix. The biscuits were so so yummy in my tummy. And somehow, I feel reset and ready for the day and week. Comfort should not be denied. It fixes a bruised soul. .  Homemade for #navigatingthroughnovember #taleswithfriends #buttermilkbiscuits #fromscratch #sundayvibes #beherenow #gratitude #mywisdomlessons #creativemamas #gratitudeweek2018
"The doors we open and close each day decide the lives we live" ---Flora Whittmore--- .  It is the projects that we entertain, the ideas we fiddle with, the people we draw closer, and the whispered yeses that we live tomorrow. .  I keep thinking of the song Love is an Open Door from the movie Frozen. Without self-love and compassion, there are no open doors. We can not love others or be of any help to our world until we establish this within ourselves. .  I highly recommend listening to Sas Pethrick's recent chat with Jane Reeves @radiantjane on episode 30 of her amazing podcast Courage and Spice . Loving Kindness is perpetually the key . .  On the blog, a chat about forgiving my body and living with it as it is now. Link in my profile to Shalavee.com. .  #entrance #navigatingthroughnovember #soul_selfie #mywisdomlessons #ontheblog #taleswithfriends #selfcompassion #selfdevelopment #emotionalmaturity
Flying, that feeling of unstoppable superness. Or sinking, hopelessness taking me down to darker depths. On any given day, these feelings are dependent on what I think I am worth today. . "Feeling good and esteeming oneself brings hope. Berating and hating oneself brings dread. " .  On my blog today, a brief contemplation on this subject. Link in my profile to the post on Shalavee.com titled Will You Face the Day with Hope or Dread ? How do you feel most days? . (The only shot I got from my plane trip to and from Nevada.) .  #taleswithfriends #navigatingthroughnovember  #ontheblog #selfdevelopment #writersofig #upupupinthe#upupupintheair #mywisdomlessons
#inbetween ... We saw Le Rêve , the Dream, when we were in Las Vegas. The show was one of the most amazing masterpieces of production and talent I will ever see. Water ballet, acrobatics, dance, gymnastics, a live singer, and a stage that rose and sank underwater in circular sections. Plus lights, water fountains, and flames. .  I came home from my vacation and felt numb. Wasn't sure how to re-engage in my life. I felt suddenly stuck in between all that I'd done before I'd left and all that I still have to do. Unsettling. .  But I kept moving, kept my eyes and ears open to hopeful helpful thoughts. And I seem to be rising again. I'm removing walls, listening to my intuition, and telling myself the truth. I think there needs to be some daily creativity now or else!  #navigatingthroughnovember #createeveryday #lereve #thewynn #lasvegasnevada #ourcreativeselves #mywisdomlessons #
On my blog today, I ponder Belonging to Myself. "Not belonging to you means that you look for all your comfort and sense of identity from others." But... "Imagine the kind of love and acceptance we could give ourselves and then to the world if we belonged to ourselves, inside the bodies we have, with the compassion of angels." Imagine... Link to my blog at Shalavee.com in my profile. .  #mywisdomlessons #soul_selfie #writersofig #selfdevelopment #selfawareness #taleswithfriends #emotionalintegrity #selfie
Grabbed another beautiful Fall walk today. Thought about noticing. There are days and months when I feel mindful and present. Devoted and open. .  And then there are times when I'm apparently distracted to a disastrous end. All we can do is amend our noticing policies and our daily operating strategies. Because only compassion and not judgment will move us from that sticky stucky place. .  #mywisdomlessons #soul_selfie #fallcolors #onmywalk #taleswithfriends #storyofmyday #emotionalintelligence
Selfie perspective. I wrote, "When you believe you are of value, that you can bring perspective and value to the world, it feels good. When you don't, it feels bad.  The pain of the hopeless child is palpable. Yet we continue to treat our inner children in the same way as we perceived our parents did. They must have treated us with disregard and dishonor because we deserved it." I honor myself as hard as I can that Fiona may emulate and understand her inherent worth. .  I'm the most Prolific Blogger You are Not Reading. That's the title of my post today. Follow the link in my profile to find out why at Shalavee.com. .  #taleswithfriends #fionamariepeach #blogger #ontheblog #selfworth #selfdevelopment #selfawareness #mywisdomlessons #soul_selfie #writersofig #emotionalintelligence #midlifemom
Yesterday I began talking about my body hatred. And I have a few more thoughts to add. .  I think of this gooey force field of fat around me as an outward sign of my fear. I can certainly blame my drop in metabolism as well as sorting out my SI joint pain problem for this newly added padding. But I admittedly quiet tthe fear that I combat daily to be my authentic self with a few rich meals and glasses of wine. I'm a lover of fun. .  I see a way out of this through compassion, conviction, boundaries, and achievable goals.And perhaps a great big dose of accountability. I won't be doing whole 30 but I see a 30 day plan coming and a few exercise classes. .  And I'm going to keep away from dressing room mirrors for a while. .  #selfacceptance #selfdevelopment #growthmindset #mywisdomlessons #soul_selfie #liveauthentic #selfleadership #selfdiscovery #emotionalintelligence #taleswithfriends #wewillrise
The Fall of my discontent. .  I went shopping today. Put my body in front of mirrors. It was really quite soul crushing.  As much as I know my value to my loved ones and my community, it was all I could do to try on everything I had brought into the dressing room.  So I bought the stuff that looked nice on me. I hope to camouflage myself well. But I'm reeling with a hangover of horror of my 52 year old body.  I'm angry that I can't just love and be OK with it.  I know that as long as we hate ourselves, we are our own oppressors.  Is there only forgiveness in the Fix? .  #keepingitreal #mywisdomlessons #soul_selfie #taleswithfriends #bodyshame #bodyhatred
Because we both needed some exercise, we walked to the park and had a playtime picnic. I was keenly aware of Fiona's need for mastery. How she kept pushing a little more to see what she could do. Hanging upside down, hooking those feet into the bars. And then was so pleased with herself. .  I admire her for this. She can be fearful in some ways but this monkey bar climbing was fearless stuff. Inspirational . We are always learning from these little ones if we are paying attention. . . On the blog, Thoughts on Mindfulness : Doing vs. Being . An interesting conversation. Link in my profile to my blog at Shalavee.com.  #ontheblog #monkeybars #fionamariepeach #taleswithfriends #moremindfulmoments #mywisdomlessons #
Doing verses being. Con-mind and the Create-mind. I woke up this morning and reviewed my thoughts from yesterday. Theories are forming. Thoughts about switching my brain intentionally to other modes. Uncluttered unfettered thoughts toasting in my mind like the marshmallows on the bonfire last night.
Listening to my mind chatter on my walk. In need of release. My heartbeat accompanying the rustle and rattle of the leaves. I honor it all until it becomes a dead end. Then I listen to my pencil on the pages of my journal deciding what it all means today. Intuition callinhg me back home. Until I fly out again tomorrow. . .  #moremindfulmoments #mywisdomlessons #americanarchitecture #easternshoreofmaryland #writersofig #onmywalk #taleswithfriends
Desires for #moremindfulmoments  I recognized her truth when she said she didn't cry anymore at this point in midlife. It's not that there's nothing dear to us, it's just that we've been letting go of expectations. They've weighed us down and now we want to fly. .  So it seems to be with desires. They feel frivolous so we buckle down and begin winterizing our souls against them.  Except that's probably crap and another way to defend against the inevitability of disappointment.  So ... .  Desires possess magic And magic is necessary. So I desire an ever-renewed feeling of hope and inner peace for you and I. That our intuitive truths always lead us to better places than fear. And I desire to be OK with just where I am. Amen. .  On the blog today, encouragement to find your flock. Birds of A Feather Flocking together is the post title on Shalavee.com. link in profile. "Hope is there where the flock resides. A place to be seen and heard for just who we are." .  #ontheblogtoday #taleswithfriends #writersofig #asters #emotionalintelligence #beherenow #mywisdomlessons #soul_selfie
Yesterday's blog post was titled Listen Gently and Intently. A truly lovely piece on how to tune into your inner self with compassion. A short and rewarding read at Shalavee.com. Link in my profile. .  I made both my kids cry in a 12 hour period. Maybe they had it coming, maybe not. I am over PMS. My 52 year old body needs to chill out now. .  I made progress on that "thing" yesterday thanks to all the luck poured on me by my friends here! Finishing up today. .  Rain today. All day. That's ok for me but my husband was dreading working in it. .  #moremindfulmoments #beherenow #mommysthoughtthoughts #taleswithfriends #ontheblog #mywisdomlessons #emotionalmaturity #selfdevelopment #rainonmywindow
We met my friend Terry in Baltimore for lunch at a well loved Greek restaurant called Samo's. So fortunate to spend an hour with her as we're both no longer living in Baltimore. . .  I am only partly me without my friends. My dear ones give me such a sense of belonging and love. We are all a reflection of the company we keep. Were we to find ourselves without a roof or food, we would never be cold or hungry with the amazing people in our lives. We only have to ask. . . .  Thoughts for #moremindfulmoments. #taleswithfriends #friendship #bepresent #selfawareness #soul_selfie #mywisdomlessons
#emotions for #moremindfulmoments .  This is her 'wary of elevator' face. She was so terrified of them as a baby, we had to desensitize her to them during a hotel vacation stay when she was two. .  Living her life with her is an emotional rollercoaster. She's always unsure how to regulate her reactions. She has no concept of when or enough when she's wounded. .  I am more and more aware that feelings can often lead my life script too. I watch as the Feeling & Thought & Action cycle can quickly play out in the wrong direction as feelings are confused as fact. So my pledge is to allow a beat to play out and ask why. Why am I feeling this way or why is that person acting that way? .  Neither fear nor emotions should be allowed to operate my life's elevator. .  #fionamariepeach #emotionalintelligence #selfdevelopment #selfawareness #mywisdomlessons #soul_selfie #writersofig #unicorn
I have walked around town today twice. I often ask myself, Am I walking towards something or away from something? And today I decided, it's always through something. .  Change is the only constant. And it is what we internally fight against when we use our quellers of choice. But the point of a walk or a vacation is to embrace the changing scenery. So I stare hard at everything making sure I don't miss out on my now if this is all I get. . . .  #sights for #moremindfulmoments #taleswithfriends #dentonmaryland #easternshoreofmaryland #onmywalk #mywisdomlessons
Music is immensely important to us. And It is who Eamon is.  He is innately a musician. At 13, he is accomplished in piano and bass clarinet and is giving a go of the stand-up bass! .  My son's test scores are through the roof because he's just smart. We don't send him to a private school because of the marvelous music teacher he has now. The man is a gift to every kid whom he has ever taught. .  I encourage you to thank the teachers who make this kind of difference in your kids' lives that you truly appreciate. And the ones that changed your life too. Thank them because it's often a thankless job. . .  #eamonspencerpeach #fionamariepeach #taleswithfriends #musicman #kidsofinstagram #siblings #beherenow #mywisdomlessons