Hey all! Sorry it’s been awhile since I’ve posted. One of my morning rituals is to look at my Timehop and memories and this is one I had from a year ago today. It just goes to show I knew we weren’t going to work. I knew I wasn’t appreciated and treated how I was supposed to be. It’s nothing official at this point, but I have this person in my life. He was someone I have history with, and due to logistics I chose to try things out with my ex. Until recently we’ve always been great friends and have an amazing bond, he finally expressed his feelings. Something I’ve been waiting to hear for years. It brings me to tears how well he treats me. Dealing with an addict narcissist for almost three years changes the way you think. You have this “too good to be true” mentality and it sucks. Fucking sucks. When do you break this? When can you fully move on? I do deserve this, right? Its approaching a year for the date that changed my life. For the better. I’ve been single, had my fun, not wanting to jump into anything. I didn’t want or need a rebound. I don’t need to be in a relationship to sustain in life. However, for the first time in a long time, when I RSVPd to a wedding, I marked down the number two instead of one. For those of you who feel stuck. Don’t. Starting over is scary, but it’s also beautiful. 💙 #narcissisticabuse#addiction#movingforward#feels#narcissisticabuserecovery#empath#youareworthit#foundmyunicorn
Covering a canvas with embroidery, one thread-width at a time is slow. And some days, when my work is going slowly, I acutely feel those 2 steps back. . .Today, after delivering 6 pieces of art (😀!!!) I'm feeling a step ahead. A big thank you to a corporate patron for the encouragement and support. Ok that's it...back to work!
As I toss and turn (wide awake at 630am no sleep) , I've noticed that for the past week and a half that I haven't been sleeping well. I know it's because of my current monkey mind. Right now I would be as Ayurvedic doctors call it, a Vata dosha. And I know why... There is something thats bothering me and it fits along the lines of a quote I read, "One can be grateful for the wisdom of every bad card dealt." I get it, but it doesn't mean that I'm there yet. I acknowledge the wisdom that is rising from the bad cards dealt or should I say the bad hand (since it feels like multiple cards are not in my favor). The issue is that I am not at the stage where I can say I am totally grateful for these "bad cards". I feel like the work I do, the place I'm in and the people I'm surrounded by don't seem to fit. My mind keeps me up because it's time to change hands. My gut knows it even though I'm intimidated by the next move I'll be making (changing jobs, transplanting to a different state, moving on from relationships/friendships). I know the risks but I'm going to do it anyway. So here is my own quote 《《 Growth doesn't happen in the presence of a stagnant seed. 》》
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"And one day she discovered that she was fierce, and strong and full of fire, and that not even she could hold herself back because her passion burned brighter than her fears..." I don't know the author, but I suscribe every single word... #wildly in love with life #sograteful🔅 #onaroll🔅#movingforward
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I've had a lot of do overs. I'm not where I want to be. I need to do better by myself in each and every way. I was feeling very down. Took a jog. Gave myself a pet talk. I'm ready to take everything I deserve. I'm fucken powerful and I saw it in me but didn't believe in my power enough to do my best. Own race, own pace. I deserve everything,the world doesn't owe me that I OWE IT TO MYSELF. #selfmotivation#movingforward#keepgoing#youareworthit#giveyourselftheworld#weightloss#resolution
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