Honest post alert! There has been huge radio silence from me, I’ve stopped creating completely now, I hope I get my mojo back at some point. Twelve months ago my world was rocked and I suddenly found myself single, with four children...first reaction was, I will be amazing and do amazing things despite this...and I did! Totally embracing the being on my own thing, but also locking myself away...I kept it to myself for a very long time which most likely wasn’t the best decision...recently I’ve opened up and immediately have found I am not in this boat alone! I’ve cried, listened, commiserated and discovered similar stories...I’ve come to terms with the very real possibility that singledom is for life for someone like me with my amazing foursome...meeting people is a very different experience these days, it’s all online...and it’s quite a depressing place to be, more chaff than wheat! That’s my opinion after one weeks meagre experience...couldn’t dismiss without trying 😂😂...so, this is my cathartic post...I have crappy days, tomorrow will be one for sure, but I have amazing days too! #whoiamisenough#youarenotalone . . . #taketimetoheal#keepongoing#findingmyinnercalm#singleandproud#thisisme#cathartic#artonhold#creativitypaused#goingitalone#iwillbeamazing#instasingles#brambleandgoose
⠀ Here’s the final installment in my series on lies we tell ourselves that mess up our love life!⠀ ⠀ Dating Lie 3️⃣: There Must Be Something Wrong with Me⠀ ⠀ After a slew of bad dates and failed romances, it’s tempting to conclude that we must be at fault.⠀ ⠀ Apparently, we’re doing something horribly wrong—something that’s keeping us single—otherwise, we’d have met someone already.⠀ ⠀ If we could only identify this tragic flaw and fix it, then love would finally come our way.⠀ ⠀ Right?⠀ ⠀ Wrong. Because our love life isn’t 100% in our control.⠀ ⠀ Now, that’s not to say we take no ownership for our single status.⠀ ⠀ Of course we need to learn from our dating history and recognize any patterns that may have contributed to the demise of past relationships.⠀ ⠀ But frankly, there’s an element of true love that can’t be orchestrated or cajoled.⠀ ⠀ And here’s the reality that’s both maddening and freeing at the same time...⠀ ⠀ Ready for it?⠀ ⠀ It’s very possible that you’re single for one simple reason—you haven’t met each other yet.⠀ ⠀ Simple as that.⠀ ⠀ No, really. It’s as simple as that.⠀ ⠀ The love of your life may live in another neighborhood and has yet to move to yours.⠀ ⠀ Or you may meet The One at a professional convention you’ll attend next spring.⠀ ⠀ Or perhaps you’ll both renew your membership to eHarmony at that same time and connect that way.⠀ ⠀ When it comes to love, timing really IS everything.⠀ ⠀ 💖💖💖⠀ ⠀ P.S. Portions of this caption first appeared in an article I wrote for eHarmonyUK.⠀ P.P.S. This post echoes the theme of my book, “Single is the New Black: Don’t Wear White ‘til it’s Right” which I’m giving away in celebration of National Unmarried and Single Americans Week—which is actually over, but I’m keeping the giveaway going until tomorrow. Send me a message on Facebook at Dr. Karin Anderson
⠀ I’m continuing my series on lies we tell ourselves that really mess us up.⠀ ⠀ Dating Lie 2️⃣: I Must Be Too Picky⠀ ⠀ If you’ve been single for any length of time, then you’ve invariably heard this one.⠀ ⠀ And if you’ve started to believe it, you’ve likely thought about settling for someone who’s “good enough.”⠀ ⠀ Bad idea.⠀ ⠀ Why? Because settling never works.⠀ ⠀ No one is happy with anything they’ve settled for—especially a spouse.⠀ ⠀ Furthermore, if we go with the mindset that all partners are about the same and just take any old one, we’ll probably find ourselves in lackluster marriages.⠀ ⠀ Aiming the bar so low may cause us to feel superior to our spouses, introducing a dynamic of inequity into the relationship.⠀ ⠀ That’s always good for marriages, right?⠀ ⠀ Best case scenario? We pity our spouse.⠀ ⠀ Worst case scenario? We despise them and despise ourselves for settling.⠀ ⠀ Furthermore, it’s pretty cruel to settle for someone.⠀ ⠀ Why?⠀ ⠀ Think about it—how would you feel if you knew your partner felt he/she was “settling” for you?⠀ ⠀ 💖💖💖⠀ ⠀ P.S. Much of this caption first appeared in an article I wrote for eHarmonyUK.⠀ P.P.S. To celebrate National Unmarried and Single Americans Week and National Singles Day (which is today!) I’m giving away free copies of my book, Single is the New Black: Don’t Wear White ‘til it’s Right. DM me on Facebook at Dr. Karin Anderson Abrell for details!⠀ ⠀ 💖💖💖
⠀ I’m not a fan of chasing after men.⠀ ⠀ Which is why I love this quote by my friend, The Fairy Godfather.⠀ ⠀ Most of you know we frequently collab and actually met IRL in London this summer (see my highlights for highlights of our meeting! 😊)⠀ ⠀ I love collaborating with him because we NEED the male perspective in this discourse.⠀ ⠀ Too often, the dating/relationship/love genre is dominated by women giving advice—and telling women what men are thinking.⠀ ⠀ Say what!?! 🤔⠀ ⠀ Personally, I prefer to hear what men think from a man—especially if he’s smart, intuitive, caring, and funny.⠀ ⠀ Like The Fairy Godfather.⠀ ⠀ This quote is all his—not a collab—and I love it.⠀ ⠀ As I mentioned, I wasn’t a fan of chasing when I was dating. Not that I didn’t do it—admittedly, sometimes I did—but I always felt uncomfortable when I did, and the relationship never worked out.⠀ ⠀ I preferred to let men chase me, because when I did, I gained valuable info:⠀ 1️⃣ I knew he was really into me.⠀ 2️⃣ I felt more secure because he was making the effort to pursue our relationship.⠀ 3️⃣ It showed me that he had initiative and drive.⠀ ⠀ So, consider The Fairy Godfather’s words.⠀ ⠀ And follow him at @the_fairy_godfather for more wisdom and truth from a man’s perspective!