Happy Friday friends! I wanted to share with you how I’ve been feeling recently. With all of the change happening in life it would be really easy to want to turn to old anxieties and restricting habits but instead I’ve never felt more comfortable. I’ve been listening to my body and balancing what I want with what I need. I’ve honestly never felt this free around food and I want to keep moving forward. I’m sharing this because I want you all who are struggling every day with body image and fighting food choices that it can get better. I’ve been “recovered” for two and a half years and and just now feeling this way. It takes time, patience, and strength, but we can do it. Be strong because #youareenough
i was pressured into going out for dinner this evening and honestly it was weird as fuck // ps found out my father voted remain lmao // TW ‼️ my mom was weird as fuck tbh, like she was drunk but i kept asking her deep questions and she was just chatting shit and honestly i’m overwhelmed like i had to leave to smoke several times to go and talk to my sister idk everything is just fucked and i can’t cope and i need to see my therapist idk i can’t hack this and it made things better but so so so much worse at the same time 😓 dunno today is grim but here’s a pic of my mint tea following about twenty thousand glasses of wine that i got pressured into drinking 🙃 #recovery#edrecovery#mentalhealthawareness#mentalhealth
This weeks blog post is inspired by the anti @drphil #100outof100 hashtag. I had too much mushy stuff to say so I made it a whole ass blog. Link in bio.😂. . “In the same vein, I would like Dr Phil to know something. I AM NOT A BURDEN. I am a great partner. I am supportive. Encouraging. Empathetic. I am nurturing. I always endeavour to be aware of my partners needs. I make J laugh. I check in on them. My mental illnesses don’t stop me from being any of those things. I have many things to offer a relationship. I asked J to describe me as a partner in three words. They responded with “Sunshine. Warm. Caring.”. They darn near made me cry with that. None of these words say that loving me is difficult.” ❤️. . How do you manage caring roles in your relationships? ⁉️. . [image description: a photograph of J’s torso. They are reaching out and holding Jess’ hand, who is taking the picture. They are both in Jess’ front yard, surrounded by greenery and standing on a brick path. White text overlays the centre of the image reading “love, caring and mental illness” and at the bottom of the image “new blog. Link in bio.”]
Spent the day food prepping (wouldn’t have it any other way) and trying new recipes such as this one👆🏼👆🏼 fruit and veggie gummies, no sugar added (except honey) and they are delicious!😍 I’m very pleased with how they turned out and I’m super excited to keep tweaking the recipe to make it just right! And this makes for an easy and perfect snack for work because it’s basically grab and go meals when in the emergency room.
Almuerzo: 👉Canelones de arroz rellenos de espinaca y queso mozzarella - #foodlover#recoverywin#nodiet#foodie#balance#edwarrior#edrecovery#bulimiarecovery#anorexiarecovery#fooddiary#casero#glutenfree#realfood#hechoconamor#canelones
Yesterday I had sandwiches, pasta, and pizza 💁♀️ I dunno why, I was just craving really delicious carbs. Restricting them for like 5 years will do that to you 😬 and guess what: I DID NOT BINGE‼️In fact, I haven’t binged in years. But it wasn’t always that easy for me to order pizza on a date night with Mick. Especially not after eating sandwiches and pasta earlier that day!! 🙈 So what changed? EVERYTHING‼️ But it started off super small. My first steps to eating carbs without binge eating them was to eat them EVEN if I knew it might trigger a binge. Crazy right? 🙄😅 BUT IT’S NOT CRAZY. If I never ate the foods that I avoided for so long because I was scared that it would trigger a binge, I would never be able to stop the binge🔄restrict CYCLE! So you have to take those tiny scary steps, even if it means “failing” at first. You have to learn (probably the hard way) that restricting yourself is never the way to stop binge eating for good. Every time I binged, I learned something... whether I saw it at the time or not. I HAD TO PAY ATTENTION TO MY BINGES TO LEARN HOW TO STOP THEM 😌 so I started asking myself questions. What just happened? Why did I binge? How was I feeling before I binged? Was it the food that caused it or was I stressed? Or both? What can I do differently that would stop this from happening again? What you LEARN from each binge will tell you how to prevent the next one. And honestly, the answer might not be one you’re ready for. 👉🏼 it might mean that the routine you live your life by has to change. And your body might change with it. And you have to know that it’s okay if it does ❤️ and when you are READY TO EMBRACE CHANGE, you will start learning from your binges. And that will be the key to how you stop binge eating. ❤️ via @simplehealthyeats 🥰 #foodfreedom#bingeeating#carbs#rice#bread#antidiet#edrecovery#allfoodsfit#nedaweek
Addiction and alcoholism is about EGO. We think we know best, it's all about us, and of course we'd think we can get sober on our own. Who else could do it better than ourselves. • That's some scary thinking. • I see a lot of people try to take their sobriety into their own hands. Being sober without a program, it scares me to be honest. Maybe I'm too involved in my own program to see otherwise, but I haven't seen or heard of sobriety on your own without a program working. Not long term. Never. If you know of someone with 30+ years sobriety who is TRUELY an alcoholic or addict and got those 30+ years on their own without help from others and without working a spiritual program than that's news to me. • The thing of it is is that we addicts and alcoholics are broken people, with broken minds. And it's our broken minds that are the problem. How do you think your broken mind is going to fix itself on its own? Probably not well. • If you think you can STAY sober for the rest of your life alone and without some type of spiritual program then good for you. Personally I just wouldn't want to be in your shoes. . . . . . . . . . . . . . #addictionisreal#positivevibes#loveyourself #recoveryjourney#recoveryquotes #mentalhealth#soberity#soberisexy#recoverywarrior#prorecovery#drugabuse#alcoholaddiction#alcoholism#addictiontreatment#addictionkills#addiction#recovery#sober#edrecovery#soberlife #addictionrecovery#recoveryisworthit #soberissexy#sobriety#soberliving #recoveryispossible#recoverywin #sobermovement#soberaf#drugaddiction
Don’t wait to get started! You can take steps toward a healthier you right now. Go for a walk, eat more veggies with dinner, get eight hours of sleep tonight. There are so many little things you can do before tomorrow morning that will all add up to a healthier you!
800 follower #challenge was creamy mushroom spaghetti🤩!! Ahhh this was super hard, BUT it was also delicious and I finished it all! I arrived in the Netherlands today✨🇳🇱 I’ll be spending this night with my sister at her uni and tomorrow we’ll be going to Amsterdam for the rest of the weekend to celebrate my birthday which is tomorrow!🥳💜 I hope you all have a fabulous weekend!🥰
• • #nofilterfriday • • • Babes, listen up.....we don’t have to explain ourselves, you know? • • • We don’t have to explain why we choose to do the things we do; choosing to take care of ourselves, leaving toxic relationships, cleaning up our nutrition, quitting a stressful job, pursuing our dreams... • • Most likely the ones asking you why you’re doing what you’re doing will later be asking you how you did it- so just keep on keepin’ on babe😉#unapologetically . . #ownit#shine#nofilterneeded#workhardplayhard#worthit#hardworkpaysoff
I’ve been shit with keeping up with posts on here but when your mental health gets in way.. 😅 ANYWAYSSSSS, last night at around 11pm I had a random surge of energy and desire to cook so I made this butter bean and kale stew which turned out absolutely GORGEOUS 😍 I’d been wanting to make something like this for ages but just hadn’t plucked up the courage to. This was kinda maybe a big deal for me because it’s the first time I’ve actually cooked (from scratch) since coming back to uni in September 😅 I hate how my head stops me from doing even basic things but here’s to the return of more cooked meals by yours truly😁💅🏽 - #vegan#veganism#govegan#veganuk#vegansofig#vegansofldn#britishvegan#veganfood#fuckdietculture#selfcare#vegangirl#nourishnotpunish#strongnotskinny#veganfoodporn#veggie#plantbased#carbthefuckup#veganfoodie#londonfoodie#veganeats#veganstudent#crueltyfree#vegandinner#veganliverpool#mentalhealthrecovery#veganfoodshare#healthyeating#edrecovery#youngvegan
Sometimes when I'm depressed, I play in makeup. I used to binge, and binge. Now when I get the urge, I paint my face instead. My fiance, @jlamb082717 is taking me out for Mexican later 💕 ---------------------- What's you're favourite food?
Uwaga❗❗❗Zdj.nr 2 trochę TW Pierwsze zdjęcie powstało w 2015 r.- wreszcie udało mi się wyprowadzić z domu, byłam niezależna, nikt mnie nie kontrolował. Zaczęły się spełniać moje marzenia - mieszkanie w stolicy, dostanie się do wymarzonej szkoły, współpraca ze wspaniałym profesorem, możliwość rozwoju zawodowego, ucieczka od toksycznych relacji... jednakże nie wiedziałam, iż to tylko złudzenie. Brnęłam w objawy anorektyczno bulimiczne, a teoretycznie nie miałam do tego powodów. Byłam tak zajęta "nowym życiem", że wewnętrzne demony grasowały prawie niezauważalnie... do momentu, kiedy ciało i psychika nie zaczęły odmawiać posłuszeństwa. "Przecież nigdy nie byłam wychudzona, więc nie może być ze mną aż tak źle!" "Skoro nie możesz być najlepsza w niczym to ładuj 100% we wszystko... nie zapomnij o swoim grubym tyłku" - tak, to był głos ED Drugie żyjecie zostało zrobione w wakacje 2018r. (Jeszcze nie najniższa waga, ale blisko). Nie miałam siły na nic, nawet na chcenie. Dopadło mnie uczucie rozpaczy, braku sensu życia, kiełkowały myśli samobójcze. Leżałam przez większość czasu próbując czytać i czekałam na telefon ze szpitala z terminem przyjęcia(od leżenia wszystko mnie bolało, a z czytaniem też nie było łatwo). Gdzie ambicje dziewczyny, uważanej za ładną, towarzystką, utalentowaną i pracowitą? Czy takiego życia właśnie chciałam? Dopiero teraz zaczynam dostrzegać, że to ciało należy do truposza, ono nie daje możliwości spełniania marzeń, odczuwania, po prostu - życia...
for all my “overly sensitive” souls just a note that crying can be an act of self care, self expression, a release, a surrendering... we love to view tears as weakness but for me crying has always been a remembering. a signal that it’s time to show up for myself... there is strength in tears, a display of vulnerability, a sign that you’re not afraid to be cracked open...🌻🌜🌞
Fact: I've gained about 40lbs since getting sober. Funny what not doing coke every day will do to you. Fact: I am uncomfortable in this body. I have convinced myself that I am not attractive to my boyfriend or anyone else anymore. It has put a huge strain on my relationship. I have always correlated being skinny with being pretty. Fact: My weight loss that everyone saw on social media was unhealthy, despite what I made it out to be. It was me working out three hours a day, seven days a week. It was me eating 400-500 calories a day and severely abusing diet pills and caffiene to the point of panic attacks. It was a self fueled riot against myself. Fact: sobriety is a journey. For me that includes learning how to sit comfortably in this new body and putting my mental health first. It is also learning to believe that I am beautiful at this size or any size. It is no more self hate. This is me yall. The real me. 💙 #sober#sobriety#beautyatanysize#edrecovery#mentalhealth#thick#bodysuit
Not a fun food post, I’m afraid. The darker side of all of this. Having a bad #recovery day. I’m fasting and just want to eat. Feel like I’ve been eating too much, though, so the past several days have involved 5-8 hours of cardio per day. I did seven hours on a bike today and feel like I should go back to the gym for another two or three hours before it closes... it’s the only productive thing I’ve done all spring break, and I’m anxious about not being able to spend as much time in the gym once classes begin again. Someone please give me permission not to go. Mad depressed and feeling rather hopeless. #eatingdisorderrecovery#eatingdisorderawareness#anorexia#anorexiafighter#bulimiarecovery#edrecovery
Too often we tell ourselves “I’ll start this” or “be able to do this” once we’re in a “better” space to do so....yet I think we get it backwards. You don’t have to have your ish together to heal....in fact that’s the opposing direction. It starts one step at a time. Don’t let the inner critic try and convince you that perfection is required or the end goal. That’s impossible. Instead, take a breath and make a commitment to take just one step towards healing. Start with practicing kindness to yourself. #bodykindness#graceupongrace#onestepatatime
#repost @lewfitness • • • • • Struggling with fat loss, gaining weight or with how you train in the gym? Click the link in my bio to join my FREE Facebook Group🔥 ⠀ In this amazing video from @thefashionfitnessfoodie she shows the serving sizes on the packet vs. actual, logical, human-sized serving sizes 😱 ⠀ Although these metrics can be a cool starting point for some, 'appropriate' portion sizes are unique to the individual. Because ultimately - we’re just a bunch of different people of different shapes and sizes, living different, interesting lives therefore the amount of energy each of us requires is going to be… well, different. ⠀ So don’t feel shit if ‘one ‘serving’ on the packet ain't cutting it for you. ⠀ *And* don’t forget brands will often create bizarre, impractical portion sizes to fit certain marketing message and pass through regulations. ⠀ (For example, that bag of hummus crisps states 28g a ‘one serving’ IN A DAMN 30G BAG lol. Like ‘Wait, lemme just save that 2g for later.’) ⠀ So yeah, serving sizes can be a good guider but certainly not one size fits all ❤️❤️❤️ ⠀ p.s. life lesson: never trust anyone who only eats one finger of a twix. ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ #servingsize#nutritioniskey#portioncontrol#calories#dietetics#healthkick#flexibleeating#caloriesdeficit#macronutrients#balancednotclean#intuitiveeating#healthyme#edrecovery#integrativenutrition#nutritionaltherapy#eatingwell#feedyourbody#nutrition#diets
i forgot to bring food to work today, and any person without that lil stupid ed voice wouldn’t think twice of it.. would most likely think 1. i’ll just eat when i’ll get home nbd or 2. just grab something quick at work/somewhere close but for me... it’s a lot more complicated than that i could go on and on about how my ed brain kept saying how good this was because now i get to skip a meal WHICH I know i don’t want because i don’t want to back into that habit, so for me overcoming that was thinking “i’m going to grab something here”. then the next step of thoughts came in... what to eat exactly. now this part can last an unnecessary LONGGGG amount of time as well thoughts within thoughts. whether or not i should just get something small, or “a salad”, but something that wouldn’t have a lot of calories like HELLO GO AWAY. BUT i didn’t listen, it took a lot in me but i managed to push those thoughts aside for a minute and impulsively ordered what I WANTED not what i “thought i should have”. hard decision to make? you bet. do i regret it? not one bit. this was hands down the best grilled cheese i’ve had in a long time
One of my favorite things to do online and with clients is to break down the science. The human body is so cool and I hate the ways in which our culture warps that to make us fearful of food. So today on the blog I am breaking down CALORIES: what they are, why they are necessary, and why the premise of calories in calories out is flawed. And most importantly, that even if all of this was accurate and we could manipulate the equation it would be irrelevant. Your body is super smart and you do not need to rely on outside information to meet your needs. We are born with a connection to our bodies but are taught to fight against it over time via dieting and ignoring our needs. With time and you can get back to it and trust that you don’t need to track calories to be healthy.
I'm not (that) sick anymore 🎉 Can't wait till I can put a shit ton of makeup again, not feelin' my natural self anymore, it's been to long lmao.🎀 . . #selfie#mirrorselfie#sick#ill#nomakeup#curls#curlyhair#shorthair#pastelhair#pastel#hoodie#flowers#recovery#mentalhealth#depression#sad#edrecovery#bodyacceptance#selflove#lmao
STOP scrolling.. I Just wanted to remind you that what you see on Instagram isn’t always real, that body, that lifestyle it’s all edited... Don’t let filtered photos change your way of thinking, you are beyond beautiful and I wanted to remind you of that ❤️
My philosophy and why I do the work I do:- I may not have all the answers to your healing but I damn sure won’t stop until you do! 🤜🏾🤛🏿 . 📸 courtesy of @lucy_killip (and my Snapchat screenshot skills 👌) some gorgeous place in southern Germany 🇩🇪❄️😍 and tomorrow she’ll be here! 🛬🥳 Which means for two weeks you’ll find us in one place and one place only 🏄🏾♀️🏄🏾♀️ (the opposite of this pic!) 😁☀️🌊⛵️ . #hypnotherapy#mindtraining#coaching
Counting down the minutes! Because in less than seven days we’ll be nestled into our mountaintop lodge, high above the Joshua Tree Desert, alongside some pretty remarkable women who decided that their healing was worth fighting for. • Crossing all the “t”s and dotting all the “i”s as we sort through our final preparations for this transformational experience. See you soon ladies, where the mountains meet the desert 💛
today was a HARD day... . . Highly stressful day at work today, that left me feeling pretty 💩 I started doubting myself, thinking I'm not good enough, that feeling of NEVER enough. Comparing myself to others... Perfectionism hitting hard. . . The urge to numb those uncomfortables feelings inevitably came. The mindset of fuck it all was definitely there. Just wanting to get stuffed and actually have another reason to punish myself. . . I can so clearly see the trend now. Sadness is the door of my binges. . . I'm glad to say that I was able to distract myself going for a drink after work with some collegues. Was close to just 'go for a walk' to clear my head and isolte myself (and move move move cause otherwise... we all know what happens 🤦♀) . . Lone wolf action right there 🐺. . . But NO, I challenged myself. Fought the urge and just sat my ass down to deal with shit. And I did . . So today it's about celebreating these little wins! . ⭐ I did not binge . ⭐ I did not use movement as a way to control myself . . . Today could have been another binge/purge day. Saw it coming. But we made it!! . . #edrecovery#bed#bingeeatingdisorderrecovery#itsokaytobesad#learningtolovemyself#learningtoacceptmybody#celebratelittlewins#comeasyouare#thinnerisnothealthier
Some things just take time. Some take a very, very long time. At almost 49, I am finally, actually, truly recovering from decades of disordered eating. It’s not because I haven’t tried or wanted to be free of the struggle and suffering. In fact, I maintained 8 years of pristine “abstinence” in FA (Food Addicts in Recovery Anonymous), and then spent another 4 years recovering from the damage of that supposed reprieve. When I found FA, I was miserable, out of control with food, and it just made “perfect sense” that out-of-control with food = addict. And it really did offer me a huge sense of relief; I immediately stopped bingeing and purging and maintained a weight that I’d never been, even as an adolescent. Except that the cost of believing that I was an addict and powerless over food meant that I could not trust myself. The FA practices and rhetoric reinforced this to the point of intense fear and anxiety of what would happen to me if I ever “lost my abstinence”. Five years into my tenure in FA, while working the 12-steps and experiencing huge emotional and spiritual growth, I began to have this niggling feeling that I wanted to trust myself. Not just with food, but in every part of my life. It was this quiet voice that kept saying ‘there’s another way’. It took me 3 years of talking with my sponsor and trusted recovery friends to finally have the courage to leave. And then another 3 years of trying to “be normal” with food and ED relapse to discover #intuitiveeating and the #nondiet approach, and realize the beginnings of peace with food and my body. And I do mean beginnings. As I have been practicing the principles of IE over the last 8–9 months, I’ve made a lot of progress. I’ve stopped purging. Bingeing has decreased in direct proportion to removing restrictions with food. I still struggle with letting go of counting calories, which I know is a form of restriction. But as I’ve been working with an ED therapist and