@jordan.b.peterson said it to be a worthy goal in life to be the strongest person at your father’s funeral. Well, exactly 10 years ago today, I’d say I was at mine. I planned for and delivered the eulogy, cared for my mother who was in shock from his sudden and tragic death and tended to the tidal wave of financial and administrative affairs that comes along with the closing of a person’s life. The eerie thing is that in handling his death certificate, I learned his exact time of death corresponded with an inexplicable moment of multi-sensory malaise I was experiencing at the exact same time in another part of the world. In that moment, I knew. A few months later, a few more family members passed away, including his mother. I found myself in a new world where the pillars of my life had fallen away through death, devastation from the deaths or disagreement about some aspects of how these deaths were dealt with. A thousand little deaths ensued over the years. In his eulogy, I spoke, “It has been said that death cancels everything but the truth.” *** The truth is, a decade on, I’m still striving to live and stand in my strength every day. I appreciate every opportunity to witness and be in the presence of all of my loved ones with an intensity that brings me to tears. I have learned to embrace the vulnerability that comes with loving hard while knowing nothing is permanent. *** What I know to be true is the power of coming to know and then honoring one’s own true heart; practicing radical love first for self, then for others; focusing attention & intention; applying earnest self-discipline ... all in the name of self-mastery. *** The truth of a (wo)man is multivalent. My father was at once a simple but also complicated man. What is clear is I loved him very much and knew him to always be true to his own... to keep it real, even if raw. To carry his weight in the world, and often, the weight of others. I admired his strength. It lives on in me.
So many of my life’s best adventures were with you my dear friend. Missing you more than ever today on your birthday! Hope you are celebrating 🥳 in heaven & dancing with the angels up there! Happy Heavenly Birthday! ❤️